15/6/07

Holidays are here. A week has passed since he became a Car Achiever.

He's more open about us now. If and when leaders (BMs and above) ask if we're together, he'd say yes without hesitation. We just passed our 4th month together 4 days ago. It seems a short time but also quite long...Its his longest relationship yet. I guess everyone has to have a first time right?

One bad thing....I've gotten so used with him being so occupied with work during his car incentive that it feels weird going out with him to movies and such. haha...and last time I was complaining that I cant go out with him.

I dont even know if I love him, if I truly love him. My past relationships have been short, clearly infatuation. I duno whats the real definition of love in God's dictionary or the true meaning. Does it consist of those stuff like putting him first, sacrificing everything for him, being incredibly understanding, know what he wants and love him no matter what.

I'm like, HUH?

My parents started their courtship at my current age: 18. They were together for 14 years, married at 32, and one year later, had my sister and I.

And my mom objects us being together. My dad doesnt even know anything. She says he isnt right for me. Its a great barrier by itself alr. Is it a warning from God?

I've grown up relatively much since VE. Meeting him changed my perception on relationships. I thought my infauations we`re terrible, changing my mind about the guy after a few months. At that time I just wanted the adrenaline of a "new` love".

What makes me certain of this relationship is that 4 months is over, and we've quarrelled no less than a dozen times, but my feelings for him have grown anyway.

Its just my mother's disapproval that pressurizes me. She says I dont marry for "cute". She expects him to be able to support and take care of me. Thats what he's doing! He's going for Car Incentive, going for BGM, SBGM so that he can give me a good life when we get married around 3-4 years later. He's getting the car of his dreams and tells me to get my license so that I can drive it too. And since his dream car is a two-seater, he intends to change car to my dream car when we start a family, which is a 4-seater.

He tends to let me enjoy life, even my mom has a share too. Why does she expect him to have his career carved out when he's only 21? My dad didnt have his career at that age either.

He knows about all this....The reason why he's working so hard now is for our future life and also to prove my mom wrong, that he can take care of me. I just wish my mom can see that soon, and not wait until we get engaged or what.

Sure, it sounds crazy that I'm talking about engagement, marriage and starting a family. Its just that he seems to be the one I'm destined to spend the rest of my life with. But only God knows. I'll keep working on this relationship in case its His plan. Even if it isnt, no matter how hard I work, He'll take him away anyway.

My mom met her soul mate at 18. So why cant I?

3/6/07

Gotta start posting again.

Hmm. Been thru a lot of internal battles with myself because of his Car Incentive. Now that its FINALLY over, it feels weird. But.. but but but. He's a Car Achiever.

Now, there's the problem of my mom. During his CI period, she was quite okay with the idea of us being together. And now....towards the end, she's been talking to me about how inappropriate he is as a boyfriend/husband. And she's telling Gab bad things about him...She even said she'll never let me marry him.

I mean. SHEESH.

And I've got exams tomorrow.